The submissive has an equal part in responsiblity of the actions and intentions during the scene.
But a DOM cannot be in violation of crossing a boundary that the sub was not even aware of prior to the scene.
Manipulative or vindictive Sub / Bottoms can assert false claims of abuse, misconduct or injury. Always have video taped consent along with written consent forms signed while on video.
Always Set The Rules
Cautionary Tales
I recently consulted a friend who had begun dating a girl, they enjoyed each other's company, he is a DOM and she was pure vanilla. After some play and conversation she expressed interest in "play". So he pulled her hair and spanked her butt a few times for effect, she loved it. Over the course of the next few weeks they explored hair pulling, spanking, rough sex, and light bondage with lots of forced orgasms. She loved it. They were both having fun; she was experiencing the bulk of the enjoyment and satisfaction happily provided as a result of the play.
Everything went well for a little while she was getting more and more turned on and wanted to explore more and more. Although they only played a few times, she was "in LOVE", I argued LUST (a common mistake). All was great until she became clingy and the DOM cut off the interaction. She became very emotional and in her anger began twisting the interaction and telling others that he was abusive or at least implying it. She had taken pictures of herself with pink butt cheeks and other things. She was threatening him with them.
It turned out later that she was not satisfied with the pace that the DOM was moving so she was interacting with other DOMs too (generally not acceptable for safety reasons). Suddenly the whole thing changed from friendly fun to disaster.
Most of the situation would have never occurred had they sat and signed an agreement and done a video where she had clearly stated her desire for him to do certain things and his agreement to the safe word and limits.
BE ON GUARD OR YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES !!!!
Bondage and BDSM is fun role-play when practiced safely and responsibly.
It is our extreme concern that in the aftermath of the release of the movie "50 shades of Grey" so many more people who have privately harbored the desire to play in either bondage or BDSM who will now fall prey to those who wish to enjoy a perfectly healthy role-play and end up hurt or worse.
Please take care when choosing to play to be very adult and serious about your preliminary actions:
Set limits - Clear and Absolute
Set a Safe Word and Motion - This stops everything
Make a written and video agreement with both parties involved and having copies of the document and video. If you will not, cannot or one partner refuses stop all activities immediately.
CAUTIONARY NOTES
Promoting
Sensual Bondage
& Power Exchange
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